there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize