You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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