Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize