just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I skipped work to stalk him.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize