i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
