Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i think i have two assholes
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
