Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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