here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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