I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
