Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
