u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I could have mohawked her pubes.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My liver just had a heart attack.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
