i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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