ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
