My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
