Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
