im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
