He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
