All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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