garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
