OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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