This girl is more easily done than said...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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