C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
