I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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