Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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