my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
