White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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