why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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