Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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