i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
