I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize