I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And then he peed in my hair
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