we made out on top of his cat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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