She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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