that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and she was petting her beer can
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
