Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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