his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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