i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
