are you still at the devil's house?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
