I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
