there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
