now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
that may or may not have been my penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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