no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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