I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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