Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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