you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
