Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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