If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
