Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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