i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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