I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
