I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
