I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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