I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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