apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
