its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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