when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I could fuck to npr.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
