Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
