What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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