Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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