nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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