yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
