Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
