farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
