I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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