naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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