hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
