those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
