Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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