It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
